6:46 p.m. - 2009-02-16
more on life
Phew. Everything has been so doom and gloom lately. But, I am newly pregnant (hee, hee) and that just exacerbates EVERY DAMN THING so that it all becomes a big deal. Not that I had a problem with that already....
Yes, another baby. For a while I've been feeling that one was fine and I was settled on that very thing. So, oops. These things happen, and I do not regret it for one minute. It will be so lovely to have a snuggly little thing to carry around again. There's a part of me that's worried about having two, about loving them in their own ways. It will be very interesting.
For hubby, it brings up all sorts of uncomfortable childhood memories. While he's so excited (he was the one who wanted another a child). When his mother had her second son she fell out of love with her first. She admits that very thing. So, hubby grew up in the shadow of his younger brother and was neglected to a degree and that brings up all sorts of fun stuff. He's already so over-protective of Griffyn, and I'm a little worried that he's going to stretch himself too thin making sure that Griffyn is loved enough. I don't foresee any problem and think that Griff will absolutely thrive with a sibling, although it will take him some time to get used to the idea that Mommy and Daddy have another person who will be needing them all the time.
All in all it's a good thing. The bad thing is jobs, and the lack of them. My massage business is slowly growing and I get new calls every week, but it's not nearly enough to cover everything. Hubby isn't really working right now and I'm not quite sure what he's going to do about it. There's this job in three weeks...I'm REALLY trying not to get on his case about it. He's such a hard worker and I think he's just burned out on all the carpentry. I just hope he comes around soon or I may have to force-feed him some applications. Already I'm scanning the papers and craigslist for prospects and email interesting jobs his way. Whether or not he checks them out is another thing entirely.
Sigh. I'm very, very nauseous. This happened with the first pregnancy, too. I was nauseous all the time and never threw up. Think I'd rather throw up in the morning and have it over with. Lucky me! By April, when the three months is up I will be back to normal and get fat.
