1:15 p.m. - 2008-05-01
Another day
Okay, I'm having serious I-don't-want-to-work issues and I'm just about to be crazy busy. This is not good, people! Tomorrow is a five hour day, which is big in massage world. That's usually the norm in the summertime and it leaves me drained. There's such a huge part of me that just wants to stop being a massage therapist and do something a little easier, but then I think about all the good that I do and it makes me doubt letting it go. I'm sure I'll come to some agreement with myself because I just don't want to work this hard anymore.
My tooth is still killing me. Tuesday night I needed half a Percoset so that I could sleep. I hate dentist stuff. I'm always sore and it makes me damn cranky. I've needed 4 ibuprofen tablets to keep the pain in check. My poor stomach! Ah, listen to the whiny baby. She's so cute...
Can I complain about anything else? The Backyardigans was fantastic and Griffyn was in shock for the first half hour of the show. We couldn't get a word out of him as his eyes were glued to the stage. He loved it! Luckily it took him until five minutes before the show ended to realize what a cool place he was in and that he needed to explore it further. A friend of mine came with her son and husband and we went to dinner after. That was nice, except for the two three-year-olds deciding that it was high time they took control of the situation. I don't think I've ever seen adults eat so fast! Of course our meals were late (we ordered the kids' meals first so that they could fill their bellies) and the boys were well on their way to being done with good behavior.
Geoffrey and I had a small talk in the car on the way to the show while Griffyn was sleeping. I was quiet and he asked if there was anything I wanted to talk about. There was, but I told him it wasn't going to be a nice talk, but we did it anyway. I can't even remember how it went, but something got slightly resolved between us, I think. There was this mention of me not saying things to him because I worried about how he would take them and then he would be hurt for the next five months while I've moved on to other things. He has such a fragile nature with this tough exterior and if I put him down in any way (of course I don't think that I'm putting him down) he limps away and lets his wounds fester instead of cleaning them. I don't know. There's a part of me that just doesn't think we can keep this going for much longer. So much missed connections, so much on the defensive for both of us. I'm going to stop writing about it now.
