1:03 p.m. - 2007-12-06
Therapy?
Ugh, I need to see a therapist, desperately. I know who to call and yet can't seem to bring myself to call them. Must be fear. Eeek, inner gooiness!!! Run far, far away, nothing to see hear....but there is and I need to talk about it with someone who can facilitate my thoughts and help me put them into some kind of order since they refuse to not follow the law of entropy. Ick, it's now or never I suppose. Yesterday I started a conversation about moving right as I was leaving. NEVER DO THAT!!! I should know better, but I had to explain to hubby why I was being such a pill. He informed me that he was moving regardless of whether or not I was coming with. That made me feel really great....but I have been so wishy washy about it lately and always seem to be coming up with some other stipulation about the final day. We are now not going to move until the carriage house is liveable (I think I must have written that already...) and now need to find a temporary place from April until whenever it is done. "We can move in with your parents" he says, but that's not a good idea. The whole point is to move into our own place, if we move into my parent's home we might as well move into Eric's home. I'm not sure if this is just a luxury issue or me just being stubborn as an ass. Probably a bit of both. And then there's the question or whether or not to stay with massage and start a new business in the Burlington area, which is fairly saturated with therapists of all kinds. The thought is daunting and I want to run screaming from it. But this is my niche, and do I carry it north with me? Will it be the same niche? There's too much to think about and my anxious brain goes in circles until I'm drooling on the floor. Okay, that's hyperbole, but it left a funny picture in my head. Plus that's what it can feel like. Anyway, stop procrastinating and get your ass off to a therapist. All is not lost and hopeless....(hand to the forehead, big sigh)
