11:00 a.m. - 2007-11-06
percolation
I feel this incredible mental regurgitation coming on. It's slowly making it's way from the back of my brain to the front and right now it's organizing itself for the grand entrance. Which of course makes me feel a little discombobulated. This past weekend's class has just rocked my world and I really need some time for it all to sink in and integrate itself into my massage work, and into myself as well, because with anything bodywork there comes a shift in your soul.
This could get all over the place and messy if I'm not too carefull....
So far I have had no coffee today. I started off with some green tea, Sancha it was called. I'm not missing the coffee. After Thea last week coffee has made me feel very nauseous, so I think that I will just say good bye to it for good. It's leaving a bad taste in my mouth and too many nerves. Not very good for my state of mind right now.
My friend Carol is desperately trying to get me to take one of the puppies her pooch just had. They are Jack Russells. I think I wrote about it already. There's this one little boy who is so sweet and snuggly and just makes me melt - all brown with a white stripe down his nose. He's pretty mellow. I'm torn, but am beginning to think that having a cute little boy-dog in my life would be a good thing. But, hubby does not want it to happen, says it would take too much time away from our already hurting relationship. I haven't really talked about that in a while. Mainly because I don't think it's in dire need of attention any more. What we need is time together without the child and time together as a family unit. The family unit thing doesn't happen as much as it needs to since I work during the week and he works on weekends. And especially now with hubby working two hours away from home, where he leaves Fri. evening and we don't see him again until Sat. evening. Then I leave for home Mon. night and don't see them again until Tues. evening. Then we have two days at our home and it starts all over again. I really don't like how it's working right now. The ideal would be to have us both working during the week and have three day weekends to enjoy "us" time.
I'm also finding that I feel very isolated when Griffyn and I are staying at the house we will be moving into this coming April. It's most likely because it's not our home, has none of our things. Yet I don't feel quite so isolated in my MIL's apartment, but it's a cozier place with all her things proudly displayed. Our friend Eric doesn't have a homey house. It's not very warm and inviting. The rooms are pretty stark, with nothing on the walls. But I must say that the wood floors are fabulous, they just need some Oriental rugs...So can I live there for a period of time while we fix up the carriage house attached to the house? I really need to start stressing that it be worked on before we move so we at least have our own living room, our own place to go to be alone. The bedrooms can wait, but I have to at least have our own space that's bigger than a bedroom or I'll feel trapped inside another's house. Yikes. All this impending change is starting to make me reel. I've already begun to detach myself from the friends that I have made here. That's not a very good thing to do. Almost like I have to make a clean break in order to start over, to leave no frayed strings flying out behind me. God forbid they get snagged...
